My goal in writing this blog is to document my journey from all-encompassing love to this very confusing world of "casual sex" and beyond.
In the last 2 months, I've experienced quite a swing of emotions. Joy. Hopefulness. Disappointment. Hate. Fear. Disgust. Anger. Rage.
I spent what seemed like days crying. I begged the guy I love to be with me. Sent countless emails of varying page lengths. I attempted suicide. I needed him then.
I decided to check myself into a mental hospital because I couldn't live with myself anymore. I didn't necessarily want to die. I just wanted to be dead. Not here. Hurting. Hurting and not having the one person I wanted to the most care about me. He just didn't care anymore. At least he didn't seem to care.
3 days in the hospital. Thousands of dollars in medical expenses, millions of tears, and a number of sexual partners later...here I am. Less emotional about all of it.
Do I want him to just call me and tell me he loves me? Yes. Has he been hurtful? Yes. Would I forgive him? You bet your ass. I'm not holding out for that. He decided to send me a text message that said "I'm done". 5 years of friendship and more than 3 years of a romantic relationship and that's what he did.
"I'm done".
His front door is 46.8 miles from mine. I'd walk every mile if with every step I took all of our troubles would disappear.
Too bad it doesn't work that way...
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What do you do when the "love of your life" unceremoniously leaves you after 3 years of blissful living? If you're me you fuck the pain away. This is the story of the men who are helping me forget the pain of lost love while I mend my broken heart. Keep reading for the explicit and raunchy details.
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